Ordinary Beauty

Why does a sunset last only 5 minutes? Tonight I got off work a little early, so I ate dinner quickly, so I could go out to the bridge near my house to catch the sunset. It's amazing to me that you can physically see the sun moving, minute after minute as it sets, yet we can't even feel that we are moving around it! As I stood there for probably 15 minutes, many people hurried by on the bridge. Some gave me funny looks, as if to say, "Why are you wasting time up here on a bridge, just standing around?" Others were too busy to even look up from their walking or biking. I stood there looking at the beauty of the sunset, wondering how people could walk by and not even notice it! To them it's become ordinary. Sadly most days I "don't have time" to stand there either. It makes me wonder what other ordinary things I miss the beauty in.

The sunset only lasts a few minutes. As I stood there watching, I felt like saying, "Wait! Don't go down yet, it's only been 5 minutes!" Of course my wishing has no impact on the sun. Soon the sunlight is replaced with artificial city lights, which don't hardly compare. I couldn't help but notice the cooler fall breeze blow my hair. I feel like I've kind of let this summer pass without even noticing. Maybe it's because it's the first summer I've been working (aside from camp), but really I think it's because this summer I've been so busy "do"ing things, that I haven't had time to be a human "be"ing. I think a lot...or at least I used too. I realized as I was standing there, that I miss spending time alone, thinking, journaling, just being.

That led me to think that I've become so wrapped up in the things I do, that I've forgotten how to be the actual me! Earlier today I was pulling on some athletic shorts after work and for some reason volleyball crossed my mind. I have great memories of being on sports teams in high school, particularly my favorite, volleyball. I kind of miss those days of competition, intensity, training and just being part of a team. Though I could join some sort of league now, I'll never be able to play like I did in high school. It's not only volleyball, but some day I'll never be able to do any of the things I like to do. One day my legs will be too weak to run, my hands will be too shaky to write and my voice will be too frail to sing. I need to remember that these things are not who I am, they are merely what I do. The real me is a whole lot more than the things I do.