Picture Day

Thursday was picture day!  When discussing it with my students the day before, one informed me (and the class) "Miss Hornback, I be lookin real smooth with my purple tie on picture day!"  He said it with a straight face but I busted.  I was excited to see his "smooth" ensamble but sadly he forgot the purple tie :(

I'm not allowed to take pictures of my students but this is what I was imagining! :)

A few weeks ago I was telling the class that I would be moving to an apartment and that night I was going to buy a bed.  One girl looked at me and said, "Girl, you go buy yo'self a bed at a garage sale."  Haha, I would buy many things at a garage sale but a matress is not one of them!

Though I'm often worn out at the end of the day, wondering if they are truly learning anything....they sure can make me laugh!  That's a start!

Settling In

Well, it was even tougher this week!  The students who are not at 1st grade level (1/3 of my class) are now starting to cause trouble because they are both frustrated and want attention.  It was a week of trial and error, trying to figure out each of these students' motivations (or lack of motivation).  If only I had individual time with each student!  So much could be done both for their academics and self-esteem, one-on-one.  Though it was even tougher this week, I think I am accepting the fact that it is what it is and am feeling better about it.

I'm getting to know their personalities better, which is more fun.  One little girl, I'll call her Jenna, has been in and out of foster care her whole life.  She insists on doing the opposite of what I say, every time!  If I tell the class to close their desks, she will slyly look at me and open it!  I can't figure out why she "tries" to get in trouble!  Why would she want me call her out in front of the class.  Most kids spend their time trying not to stick out.  I guess this little girl needs so much attention that she doesn't care if it is positive or negative :(  I am still "experimenting" with her, trying to figure out what will motivate her to behave positively.  These kids are so psychologically complex because of their lives, that it takes a while to figure them out!

On Friday I had a substitute in the morning because I was pulling out kids one at a time to do a reading test.  Obviously, this was the first sub they had ever had in my class.  One little boy came in to do his test with me and said, "Oh good!  You're here!  Are you still going to be our teacher!?"  I assured him that I would be back in the afternoon with them.  Sadly, probably every adult in his life that has made a promise to him, broke it.  Everyone in his life has given up on him and just left.  He was worried that I wouldn't come back, too.  Maybe I can be the only stable thing in these kids lives.  Though many of their world's are chaotic, school can be a predictable, safe place where they can be free to be themselves.

On a lighter note, I think I've found a church!  It is a big church, only 10 minutes away from me.  It has a lot of ministries and activities that I hope to get involved in soon.  I also love my apartment!  Here are some pictures :)

 I am still pretty excited about my world map shower curtain :)

My new life

Oh boy, what have I gotten myself into? My whole life has changed in a matter of two weeks! Two weeks ago, I did not have a job. Since then, I was hired, I've worked for two weeks, I moved into an apartment and had a couple of meltdowns ;)

One day was definitely not enough to prepare for a whole school year. I was really overwhelmed the first few days. Well actually, I still kind of am! :) I have my work cut out for me! I have 24 students. My students are at very different academic levels. They all require individual attention and I wish I had more time in the day! Sadly, it seems as if I am going to have to teach both the kindergarten and 1st grade cirriculum in order to catch up from last year. It's so sad to hear about many of the students life stories.

Even though it has been a really tough couple of weeks, I know that God put all of these specific students in my care for a reason. They need to be cared for. They need to be believed in. I am now eating my words because I remember about a month ago asking God for a hard teaching job. Well, he answered! This is pretty much the hardest job I could have landed in! But, it is not an accident that I was put in room 6 at Erving Elementary. It was all part of a plan I didn't (and sometimes still don't) understand.

I was commuting to work an hour each way for two weeks. I think now that I am settled in my apartment near my school, it will be much easier to separate my school life and home life. I feel like I have kind of dropped off the face of the Earth these last couple of weeks! It will be nice to get my life back. My new life.

Today I went to a new church that I really liked. I am hoping to get involved quickly and find Christian friends. I miss my church community in Korea. Hopefully I will find a similar one here!

And the new chapter begins!

It's been a long time since I was actually excited about going back to school!

It was a rough summer! From the time I got home in March, I have been searching for jobs all over the Midwest almost 8 hours a day! The market is so stiff that it's incredible that I even had some interviews. One job that I interviewed for, I was one of 900 applicants! That's practically every eligible teacher in Michigan! All 900 applicants applying for 1 job. The interviews started in June. I wasn't too nervous in June or July, knowing I still had quite a bit of time.

 I got increasingly frustrated the more rejections I got! I knew I was doing well in the interviews because I was getting call-backs and good feedback. I started to feel like God was playing a trick on me after I got the 11th district rejection! I suppose God was just trying to show me that I couldn't get a job on my own, but only when I trusted that He would give me favor at the right interview. You'd think He could have gotten that point across to me in the first 5 interviews! Haha, nooooo.

 On Thursday, two days before school started, I had no more interviews and no more leads. I pretty much decided that I would have to substitute the whole school year until next spring's hiring season. Friday morning, the day before school starts, I was offered a job! Nothing like waiting until the last minute! I guess God was just trying to prove His point! :) He certainly gets the glory on this one!

 I was able to get into the room this weekend and after a day and a half of preparation, I'm ready to start on Tuesday! Why did He make me go through 5 months of disappointments? I have no idea. I do know that He was preparing me for this job. He prompted all the other 11 schools to say no, so that I would be available when this school said yes! God wanted me to have the absolute best building, best salary and hopefully best students and staff (I haven't met them yet).

 On the way home from signing the contract, I read a marquee that said, "I heard you and I'm working on it. -God" I just laughed! Perfect timing.

 And the adventure begins!

Little Will

These last few months I have been substitute teaching. Most people would consider this one of the lowest paid, lowest respected jobs, but actually I've rather enjoyed it. School finished on Friday and my subbing days are over for now. As I was thinking about some of the subbing days, Will stuck out in my mind. I had subbed in Will's class the two days before. The classes are so big and busy, that sadly, I only remembered the trouble makers! :( I noticed Will hugged me on his way out the door after that first day. This kind of surprised me since I hadn't heard a word from him all day! The next day was similar. I didn't hear a peep out of him until he came up to me half way through the day to tell me he wasn't feeling well. He went home sick. The next day I was subbing for a special ed teacher. I was assigned to go to Will's class to help another student. The student was busy with something else, so the teacher suggested I work with Will, who was behind on a project. She warned me that Will had been a bit emotional lately. Will looked excited as he gathered his things and headed into another room to work with me. We chatted for a second before we got to work. Will was way behind on a writing project. He was obviously stressed because he was behind the rest of the class. As we worked together, he was amazed at how fast he was getting things done! He looked over and said, "Uh...Miss Hornback, can I tell you something? You are a really nice teacher." I thanked him and we kept working. A little later he said, "It's kind of nice to have help in life. Thank you for helping me." I'm sure I gave him a questioning look, wondering where this philosophical comment was going. He continuted, "My sister is really sick and my mom stays with her at the hospital. My grandma came to help us. I have a lot of things going on right now like tests and this writing." The fact that he was worried about his writing when his sister is indefinitely sick in the hospital broke my heart! This kid was overwhelmed by school and by life. When I asked him his sister's name, he told me it was Faith. She's been fighting a disease that only 6 people in the whole world have been diagnosed with. When it was time for me to leave, he said, "So are you gonna be like my permanent helper?" Oh how I wish I could have been! By no fault of his own or his parents, this little boy was falling through the cracks. His sister was the one who got all the attention and nobody had time for this sweet 9 year old. Because he's "low maintanance," he's been accidentally neglected. He was so appreciative quality time. As a sub, most days I felt like I was not accomplishing much. I only got to know the kids for 1 or 2 days, not nearly long enough to make a difference. False! That day I made a difference in Will's life. Surprisingly in just two months of being a substitute, there were many more kids like Will. Here I thought I had to wait until I was a real teacher to make a difference. How awesome that God even allows substitutes to accomplish his "Will." :)

Spared

I am so thankful to be alive today! Last night I heard and saw a tornado pass over my house...

About 5:30 last night, the tornado sirens went off. I was home alone when my sister, the "weather woman" called to warn me, but we just laughed about it and shrugged it off.

A few minutes later I was not laughing anymore. I turned on the news just to check the warnings, and it said, "The tornado is headed right for Dexter, MI. Take cover immediately." I kept checking the windows looking worriedly at the quickly blackening sky. When I heard the faint sound of the tornado roar in the feild/lake in front of our house, I headed for cover.

We have a 2 story house, but no basement. The safest place in our house is a concrete enclosed creepy crawl space under our porch. I sad huddled in the corner there, constantly talking to my mom, dad and sister on the phone. My dad was on his way home from work and saw it coming down the road. My mom was still in town. I could hear the storm worsening, the violent wind swirling around. I'd forgotten in the panic of taking cover to close the windows in the house! I knew it would make a horrible mess! Later, my dad said that it was actually a good thing that the windows were open because if everything was closed up, the pressure could have blown out the windows.

From under the porch I could hear what I thought was things flying around the house. I heard sounds that sounded like the front door bursting open and dishes falling off the shelves. It turned out to only be the fierce 1-1 1/2 hail hitting the glass doors. Thankfully my car only came out with three small dents. Pretty unbelievable.

I was on the phone with my mom when the tornado passed over the house. I screamed, "Mom, it's coming! It's coming! IT'S HERE!!!" My poor mom couldn't do anything about it! She probably thought I was going to get blown away! Well, I thought I was too! I prayed, hard. That was the most scared I had ever been, listening to the horrifying "train" tornado sound over my house, hearing the house popping and cracking and things flying around. I didn't know what I would find when I walked out of the porch. I was afraid the house would collapse and I would be stuck. Scary.

The train sound gradually got farther and farther away and I realized it had only passed by, not hit our house. The house diagonal from ours was hit and the next neighboorhood over was also hit, but it just bounced right over ours! Thirteen homes in my town were flattened and 100 had serious damage. Amazingly there were no deaths! Surveying the damage around town this morning was awful. Some homes are totally wiped out, some are without roofs, some without their second stories and enormous uprooted trees make some streets unpassable.

My dad says we will probably be without power for the next few days. As I went out this morning we saw a caravan of 20 electrical trucks, all coming down our road to help with the damage. It's an awful situation that is going to take a long time to clean up, but it's cool to see the community come together and help each other. We can't see any news because of the power outage, but I guess it's been all over the local and even national news.

The sun rose this morning as if nothing had happened. As the fog lifted, the evidence of the tornado sunk it. Ironically, my mom, sister and I are headed for Mexico tonight. We feel guilty leaving the war-zone of Dexter.

I keep thinking, wow, God must have something big to do through my life! He has protected me so much in the past few years when various times, things could have turned out so badly! Today I am counting my blessings!

That's a Wrap

I made it back to the States! 5 flights, two days and two nights made me really appreciate my bed at home :) So far jetlag hasn't slowed me down too much. I think it's going to take some adjusting back into American culture...I was a bit overwhelmed with all the choices at Meijer when I went to by some things, haha, but everything else seems pretty much how I left it.

All the travel time gave me plenty of time to reflect on my time in Thailand. Here are some of the things I learned:

In living with the missionary family this week, I learned how awesome it is to see a married couple doing ministry together. Both the husband and the wife were working towards the same goal and the same mission. I also learned that missionary life can be very normal. God gives us each a calling. The specific calling is different for each person, shown sometimes through the opening and closing of doors. The calling on my life is to be done wherever I am. A missionary is just someone who does that work in a different place. Really, wherever I am, I should be doing that same work, whether in Korea, Thailand or America. I used to wish I had different gifts, personality or abilities, but God has given me exactly what I need to accomplish His calling. Saying mine aren't good enough would be insulting Him.

It was interesting to see various different ministries last week, both big and small. I saw that it doesn't matter the size or appearance. The most important thing is that it starts with one. It starts with one person mentoring/discipling another until the disciple is ready to disciple another. Though it seems like a small impact, the ripple effect could be huge. People are people. No matter where in the world I go, people are hurting and in need of a savior. Rather than glazing the surface with many, it's more important to invest first in one.

Everything in my life right now is kind of on hold. Waiting is one of the hardest things for a Christian to do because it makes us feel so helpless. Well wishing people keep asking what I will do now, and honestly I don't know. I am applying to jobs but really it's out of my hands and into God's. I'm learning that waiting should be an active process. It's not sitting back and doing nothing, but it's allowing God to change me while I'm waiting. Waiting allows, or rather forces, me to rely on the power of prayer. And that is a good thing!

Thanks to everyone who continued to read throughout the last year and half. I hope my jumbled thoughts gave you some insight into my time in Korea. I've enjoyed writing so much that even though I'm back in the States, I may continue to occasionally write about my relfections on life. Signing off from Korea and signing in from America...That's a wrap!